Idiots

hipster hitler

 

Here’s one for all the idiots out there who have discovered they can use the internet, type, read dictionaries and indulge in all sorts of miraculous activities.

“IDIOT, n. A member of a large and powerful tribe whose influence in human affairs has always been dominant and controlling. The Idiot’s activity is not confined to any special field of thought or action, but “pervades and regulates the whole.” He has the last word in everything; his decision is unappealable. He sets the fashions and opinion of taste, dictates the limitations of speech and circumscribes conduct with a dead-line.” – from  Ambrose Bierce’s The Devil’s Dictionary.

If however, one is still too much of a dolt to appreciate the sense of humour in the Devil’s Dictionary, we can opt for an alternative definition of Idiot from the Half-Wits Encyclopedia…that being Wikipedia.

“An idiot, dolt, or dullard is an intellectually disabled person, or someone who acts in a self-defeating or significantly counterproductive way. Archaically the word mome has also been used. The similar terms moron, imbecile, and cretin have all gained specialized meanings in modern times. An idiot is said to be idiotic, and to suffer from idiocy. A dunce is an idiot who is specifically incapable of learning. An idiot differs from a fool (who is unwise) and an ignoramus (who is uneducated/an ignorant), neither of which refers to someone with low intelligence.”

 

The Last Post

cthulhu stole my blog postsThis is my last post here, I am retiring due to the constant stress of maintaining this site. After all, blog posts are a very serious thing.

So please please hackers, don’t steal my  blog posts because it will wound me to the core and I’ll cry rivers of pain. Please don’t copy and paste them either. My blog posts are patented, trademarked and under copyright even though no one even reads them because there are no ‘Followers’.

As I am deeply tormented by fear that my precious blog posts may disappear I cannot continue. Regrettably, I am unable to continue in this role due to the severe psychological trauma this fear perpetuates. I will leave this blog online, despite what has happened to it – the buttons move as if by eldritch and arcane engines, almost as if they were possessed by a horde of a thousand devils…I am plagued by spam from Nigeria, and I have won the lottery six times this week, but the money never arrives. I am receiving thousands of Twitter requests, but they are all spam bots and I can no longer use my control panel to type here. Obviously I have been hacked , not just hacked, but hacked by unworldly, ungodly, unspeakable things…..

I must flee this foul place. 

But before I go, please note that I received four letters from Bill today, and everyone else should have their letters by now.

IN THE MEANTIME YOU MUST GO BACK TO OVERTHROW. www.overthrow.com

Overthrow has implemented internet security to keep itself safe from fiendish hackers. Gods, if only I could login to my control panel to rely this vital message that I cannot login!

Your new administrator has powers to banish these techno-devils that cannot be implemented here. And as of myself, I am retiring to take up my new life as a hermit in an abandoned lighthouse by the sea, with leather bound copies of my blog posts. There we shall be safe.